Real Engineers...

Consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
Buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
Wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
Have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
Think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
Know the second Newton's Law - but not their own shirt size.
Repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches and automatic transmissions.
Say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
Give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
Wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
Politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
Know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
Rotate their tires for laughs.
Will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
Briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
Don't find the above at all funny.